Goodbye, to you.

My quivering hands reach up to the slightly askew crown atop my humid-struck hair and in a pitiful attempt to straighten it; it clatters to the hard ground below. Casting my gaze down I feel my lips part and only a wordless scream can manage to bubble up from my stomach, what a wretched sound I make. A classless daughter, a frightened princess, an adult starving for affirmation… they are all attached to the self I call my own.

In a handful of interpretations I am the villain. I am the haunting memory that lingers in the blur of rage hovering just beneath the surface. I’ve caused scars and left impressions deep in many souls in my mere twenty-some-odd years on this Earth. In very few stories do I get to stand atop the pile and be the savior. That has to change, I am a proud woman who will take the future by the horns and fight with gritted teeth.

There was always an escape plan, a way to defeat the palace and live freely among the people. It was meant to be taken in slow, steady steps so my pride could stay intact. The Queen would never leave my dignity whole, I should have known she’d send her henchmen to ruin my perfect coup d'état. I spent over a year sewing together the plans with carefully placed stitches of self-love and growth… but she ruined everything in one swipe of that accusatory finger.

She stood tall on her throne of tall-tales and spoke down to me as the metal of my severing sword drug along the cobble. It made an eerie screech that mimicked the shrill hiss in her voice. She was panicking that her only tool left would vanish before her. That she would be abandoned to a life of solitude. The answer was clear; she must annihilate me, the princess, before I could use my own gained strength to escape. I was better off slain by her wickedness than I was to walk freely to peace.

The war was only words but each insult slung torn another gash in to my weak armor. Pieces shimmered, broken to shards, on the ground by my lost crown. It was to be our last battle against one another. There could be no more, my very being couldn’t withstand any longer. I needed to escape. To be freed.

With all I could muster in to my trembling palms I picked up my sword, forged of words, and swung. Years of trepidation hid away and the fury rose to my tongue, my glare was enough to leave her staggering. I built a wall of stories, of the hurt she’d caused, and ran before she could destroy my courage with one flick of her cruelty.

I ran so fast that I am now heaving. My lungs burn like fresh embers and my eyes are stinging with so many unshed tears. The real test comes now that I’ve forced myself to flee. I mustn’t believe the lies she’ll whisper in to the wind for only my ears. Already I shake at the thought of looking in her crying eyes and having to say those things again. I know I won’t be able to, I’m far too weak.

One shot was all my heart had within now if I can remain steady it will not have been in vain. My strings have been cut and I can see the many colors this world has to present. A princess no more, I will try to live my life as only myself. It will be the best revenge I could ever manage. For now though, we wait and tremble until the uneasiness passes like a night’s fog. Once clear I hope to see the stars that await. This is my farewell and greeting all in one. Goodbye to you, mother, and hello to my new self.

Before she lost herself to BPD.